What is Love..

I love how there is a song title or lyric for every one of my blog titles. It just proves even more that music can touch all aspects of your life.

So I've been thinking about choices A LOT lately.

Stupid choices: What am I going to eat? What should I wear today?

Moderate choices: Should I buy that skirt now or wait until it goes on sale in a few weeks?

Important choices: What am I going to do with my life? How am I going to make this work

Everything in life comes back to choices. Who you CHOOSE to have in your life, who you CHOOSE to admire/look up to, the things you CHOOSE to put into your body, the people you CHOOSE to love. It doesn't matter the consequences, everything comes back down to one little choice.

So, if we have that much power over people, why do we CHOOSE to hurt our fellow man? Why do we, as a human race, decide that it's ok to allow our children to see all kinds of violence on T.V. but the minute they start talking about sex or there's a boob slip or someone's ass we FREAK OUT!! It's ok to be the school bully, and use your words (which have A LOT of power), to harass the little guy, but the minute that little guy decides to use violence to protect himself, we have a problem with that?? I fail to see how any of this helps our society.

I might be a nobody, but this nobody likes to use her words to help people. That's why I write this blog. That's why I Tweet. If I can improve one person's life, make that one person's day just a little brighter, I may have unknowingly stopped them from making a bad choice. One that could harmed not only their life, but those around them as well. There's a lot of truth in that it doesn't take much but a smile or a kind word from a stranger to brighten our darkest days. I got to see that happen yesterday and the feeling I got because I made someone else smile, there's no explaination for it.

Love isn't just something that happens. Love is a CHOICE! You make a concious choice that someone else's needs/wants/desires/dreams/whatever are greater than your own and that you want to help them succeed no matter what obstacles may be in your way. In choosing to love someone I'm saying "Here is ALL of me: the good, the bad, the pretty, the ugly, all my secrets, EVERYTHING..I'm giving it ALL to YOU to take care of, to treasure." Not trying to sound arrogent, but I am a treasure. I know my worth & value and I'm not someone's door mat or dish rag. I'm not a piece of property. I'm not something that means nothing to you and if that's how it's going to be then I want no part of anything you have to offer to me.

Maybe that's part of the reason I don't date. It's too big of a choice for me to just throw away my time and effort on someone I know won't return those feelings. That's probably one of my biggest pet peeves in life. People that don't understand love, how fragile it is and how careful you have to be with someone's heart.

I've spent my entire life watching the boys and men I love walk out of my life for no good reason. They just decided that they didn't want to be there for me or my family anymore. How can you do that to people? How can you just decide that "This isn't what I thought it was, so I'm gone." How is that LOVE?!

I have a HUGE heart that is ready and willing to love the perfect man, to support him & his dreams, to take care of our family and then support our childrens' dreams, to have him want all of that and more for me. So why is it so hard for me to find a guy like that? One who is loyal, trustworthy, caring, has decent manners and knows how to treat a lady. Find me that guy. I don't care if he's 6'2 with beautiful brown hair and the "brightest blue eyes" or 5'6 with dark brown hair and the world's greatest smile. I mean, all of that is important in a relationship, but that kind of heart & personality mean a lot more to this girl.

A little random today, I know. I think it's the fact that I'm sick that has me kinda delusional, I'm not really sure. Choices are a big deal to me. They influence so much of our life so big ones like love mean a lot to me. It's not just a word I throw around or use carelessly. If I say it I mean it, no BS involved.

<3 Jen