Fearless Role Models

"To me, "fearless" is not the absence of fear. It's not being completely unafraid. To me, fearless is having fears. Fearless is having doubts. Lots of them. To me, fearless is living in spite of those things that scare you to death. Fearless is falling madly in love again, even though you've been hurt before. Fearless is walking into your freshmen year of high school at fifteen. Fearless is getting back up and fighting for what you want over and over again...even though every time you've tried before, you've lost. It's fearless to have faith that someday things will change. Fearless is having the courage to say goodbye to someone who only hurts you, even if you can't breath without them. I think it's fearless to fall for your best friend, even thought he's in love with someone else. And when someone apologizes t you enough times for things they'll never stop doing, I think it's fearless to stop believing them. It's fearless to say "you're NOT sorry", and walk away. I think loving someone despite what people think is fearless. I think allowing yourself to cry on the bathroom floor is fearless. Letting go is fearless. Then, moving on and being alright...That's fearless too. But no matter what love throws at you, you have to believe in it. You have to believe in love stories and prince charmings and happily ever after. That's why I write these songs. Because I think love is fearless."

-Taylor Swift

I saw this AMAZING video that had this quote along with a bunch of Taylor's music video moments that go along with the quotes today. It reminded me a lot of the message Christa Black is trying to get out on her blog. Which if you haven't read yet, you should. I've learned a lot about myself and have dealt with a lot of my past deamons because of her. I'm not as afraid to tell people that I'm not perfect. My past isn't rainbows & butterflies like I wish it was. Christa's made me realize that that's OK! I'm perfect in my imperfections. So much of my life has been based on pleasing everyone but myself, trying to make them happy. I can't live my life like that. I have to do what's right for me.

and boys...I've been "happily" single for almost 4 years now. I say "happily" because sometimes, it hasn't been all too happy. Sometimes it downright SUCKS! I would LOVE to have a guy that cares about me, wants to spend time with me, but I just haven't found him yet. I'm not picky, but I have my standards. I also have the belief, even at 19, that anyone you date could be someone you marry. I don't want to waste my time with someone I can't see myself spending the rest of my life with. That might sound horrid, but I have never seen the point in dating someone for the fun of it, or just to have a boyfriend. I've never been that girl. If that means the only person I ever seriously date is the guy I marry, well that just makes our relationship that much more special. I know he's out there somewhere, and I know our paths will cross eventually, until then...well this songexplains it all...

idk where all this "deepness" is coming from. I've just been doing a lot of thinking recently. Maybe it's Christa, maybe it's all me...I'm not really sure

♥ Jen